Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
