In the future we'll all be gay
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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