some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
