Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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