It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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