I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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