next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
