He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
