we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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