well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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