do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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