it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
