Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
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She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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