Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
