I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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