one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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