I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
