i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
