that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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