During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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