I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize