i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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