I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
