garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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