She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
