ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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