Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
