Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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