if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize