I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
