Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
