just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
