Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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