mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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