who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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