I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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