Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize