I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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