Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
