she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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