direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
