I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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