so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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