you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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