Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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