guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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