You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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