Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize