Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
