It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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