girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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