fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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