she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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