i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize