Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
