spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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