I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
