no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize