you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
