I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize