The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
