I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
