i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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